Sunday I’ll get my 10,000th km on the bike in 2010 somewhere near Keremeos
Sunday I’ll run my 1000th mile of 2010 somewhere along the shores of Lake Skaha
Sunday I’ll swim my 300th km of 2010 somewhere in Lake Okanagan
I’ve trained in excess of 800 hours in the last year (since September 1, 2009). I set the target of 800 hours and am currently about 3% beyond that. Previous annual volumes for comparison: 2008 – 520 hours including ride across the USA. 2009 – 700 hours. At this time last year I’d ridden 33 century rides, run 12 half marathons, done three 50km run weeks, and had a life best weekly swim total of 8.9kms. Since then I’ve racked up 19 more century rides (20th on race day) including a personal record ride of 300kms in a day, doubled the number of half marathons in my legs (two more on race day) and 11 times ran more than 50kms in a week (another notch on race day), and 16 weeks of the last 52 I’ve swum more than my previous record weekly distance. I have put more kms on my second Cervelo P2 than I did on my first one prior to it’s demise only two and a half months ago.
I’m also feeling incredible pressure to perform well at the race. Some of it is from myself and some from other people and I don’t really mind their intention because it’s all in good faith (or so I hope, don’t bother letting me know if it’s not). I’m not really super happy with the fact that I feel much pressure from myself to do well. I choose to do this stuff because it generally makes for fun times. Even the times that aren’t so fun in the moment, like getting caught out in a hailstorm and getting pummeled by falling ice, running out of bloodsugar mid-ride and sleeping in a ditch for a couple hours to recover, riding the second half of a Calmar bakery trip with frozen toes and windburnt cheeks, and many times coaxing myself off my butt and into some shoes to run another hour after a ride when I’m aching and tired… all those times are pretty entertaining in retrospect. Why then, if I can have so much fun doing all the crazy stuff to get ready am I susceptible to get so nervous and uptight about whether or not I’m going to meet some general expectations of where people estimate my performance to be on raceday?
It’s because, or at least right now I think it’s because, to devote so much time, and effort, and money, to one thing means I’ve sacrificed a lot of time, and effort, and money that could have been funneled elsewhere, for this one race. When you take a general look all those sacrifices are for me to go fast in the race. Then to reap the reward for the discipline to do that, requires I get payback at the race, namely in the form of being a speedy-gonzales. When I take a moment though and consider the sacrifices, when I’m making the daily decisions to stay this course, I’m making them based on the incremental bits of enjoyment I get from a good run in the river valley, a huge negative split on a long training run, a beautiful ride out in the canola fields around Edmonton, and the satisfaction of laying in the sauna with aching arms after pulling off a record breaking 4000yard timetrial in the pool. Yet, the future task guiding what kinds of shenanigans I filled my weekends with, what kinds of things I quit doing, or started doing, was optimal performance at this race at the end of the summer.
Doing all this crazy sh!t means that in theory I am indeed all charged up for an optimal performance. And it’s not just a theory, I’m all ready to race, my HR response to exercise is indicating that I’m well rested, I feel incredibly strong when I’m clipped into the pedals or pulling long strokes in the pool or am floating down the road feeling light on my feet despite weighing in at ~190lbs. It’s time to race and I have no doubt at all that I can do this IM thing and finish it off and probably run the whole marathon like I want to, and that I’ll almost certainly enjoy every minute of the bike ride and most of the run, but suddenly there’s supposed to be a measure of “good enough” or more accurately and specifically “sufficient”. Is my swim performance going to be sufficient to stay ahead of the bulk of the pack? Am I going to ride sufficiently hard while retaining sufficient reserves for the run, will I eat and drink a sufficient amount on the bike based on prior calculations and practice? Have I prepared sufficiently for the run? Is my toughness and focus going to be sufficient to carry me through the rough patches? Can my body dissipate sufficient heat to avoid heatstroke under the conditions of the day? Do I have sufficient courage to push hard when I know the time is right or will I be uncertain and cautious?
Argh! Why can I create so much pressure? The race is just the task at hand this weekend. The rewards from all the sacrifices made have already been reaped. Look at the first half of this post. 10000kms on a bike – That’s about roughly 350 hours of my life spent doing the thing that I most like to do in the whole world. Each one of those statements has happiness and hours upon hours of enjoyment underlying it. So, when I pause and reflect on what I still need to do on this “Ironman project” I can calm down a bit and I recognize that here’s not much I need to do at the race but give myself and honest measure of what I can do on that day. It’s pretty calming, I’m going to swim hard and bike fast and run tough to measure it, and then start looking back on it with enjoyment. Maybe it’s enjoyment because I actually cover the 140.6 miles with some semblance of speed, or maybe it’s enjoyment more like the hailstorm, the ditch-bonk, the aching fatigue of my mega training week, or the mid-winter jaunt to go get a donut from 30miles away by bike.
That doesn’t mean there’s not pressure, there’s a lot of pressure, it’s entirely external though. I find pressure from other people is pretty easy to dismiss and so, whether or not next week they look at this Ironman endeavor as sufficiently successful is mostly a matter of their measuring technique and isn’t particularly relevant to my own.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Cor 12:9
Raceday is two sleeps away! – check back to this post on or before Sunday morning for details of how to track my progress on raceday.