Here’s the first 5 lines for a Eng-Phys club shirt. I just need a witty 6th line to finish it off… I’m just not sure what it should be.

• Proudly Spelling every F-word with a PH
• Making the bell curve work for us
• Maybe getting jobs since 1908
• We take more courses than you and we’re proud of it
• Proud to live in the Freq domain

So what is the best last line? We need some new EP gear and I propose that this should be one of our options.

Special thanks to Cayley Webber for all her directing skills in the filming of the latest major motion picture to come out of the Yellow House Studio. Major acting roles played by Josh and Neil.

• Friday 11:45 pm: Foot Crushed
• Saturday 12:10 am: Josh Admitted to Hospital
• Saturday 12:45 am: Xrays taken
• Saturday 1:20 am: Discharged from hospital with “not broken” label on foot
• Saturday morning: Foot slightly swollen and rock hard
• Sunday morning: Foot extremely swollen and very soft
• Monday morning: Green identified as the main color of the bruise
• Tuesday evening: grey/blue confirmed as main color of bruise, swelling hasn’t gone down.

No Neils were harmed in the filming of this stunt. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for Josh.

After spending a good piece of Friday night sitting around at the University Hospital the ultimatum is that my foot is not broken. Neil and I were trying to do XHops and my right foot buckled under my weight and his, the female contingent sent me off to the hospital. After an Xray and hanging around in a bunch of waiting rooms the ultimatum is that it’s not broken.

I tried to stand up when getting out of bed and it completely buckled again under my weight. I need to be careful to really stay off of it.

Webber caught the action on film so it will make an appearance here on the web as soon as she emails me the file.

Quotes from ENGG 405 Engineering Business and Society, Winter Semester 2007

• I don’t endorse any of this, but I’ll admit that I do turn my head.
• If you’re going to drink with people, Newfoundland is the place to be, those people really know how to get along and have a good time.
• Anybody who plans to live on CPP will at some point ponder the question “Is dog food edible?”
• In 1964 there was 1 female chemical engineering student in my class, I dated her. She dropped out, but that’s completely unrelated.
• Human Vision has evolved to detect the smallest movements at the largest distance. Now that’s not very useful for reading and engineering textbook!
• If you have a riot in the US you end up with a lot of dead people; if you have a riot in France noone dies but alot of cars get burned.

Quotes from PHYS 381 Electrodynamics Winter Semester 2007

• If there is a bomb here, I am going to run there, along a radius.
• Engineers are working very hard to make our lives easier, they are not always successful but what can we do.
• There are 24 letters in the alphabet! maybe we should use the Chinese alphabet then we’d have 6000 letters to choose from? No? well then let’s learn it, use it, and be happy
• You need to tell the solvee how things behave on the boundary.
• You need to know something if the “wild guess” method is going to work.
• The “wild guess” or “lucky guess” better sometimes work, this isn’t lotto 649
• Remember the laws! you’re not allowed to visualize incorrectly.
• I lied! I just made two functions look different, it was like writing sin² + cos² and pretending that it didn’t equal 1.
• The Laplace equation gives nice and cozy solutions.

What do you call 3 EnPhys in a fume hood?

“I am an outdoors type of person.” Really means: I train in any type of weather. If its raining, snowing, 90 degrees w / 1 0 0% humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don’ t want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and youre just a big wuss for complaining about it.

“I enjoy riding my bike.” Really means: with or w /o aero bars, alone or in a peleton, I don’ t care. If you can’ t do a spur of the moment 30 miler then youre not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can’ t hang and I drop you I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don’ t expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.

“I enjoy jogging.” Really means: Lets run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are bet ter because they are functional and all look the same.

“I enjoy dining out. ” Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can find food. Don’ t be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don’ t ge t your limbs too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don’ t expect any taste of f my plate unless you can bring something to the party like more food. Eventually though if your not burning 4,000+ calories a day your going to plump up and have a terrible complex due to watching me eat deserts and not gain any weight. Friends and family will eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table manners. Oh, and don’ t ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid Morning Lunch, Lunch, Af ternoon lunch, Dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.

“I enjoy quiet walks on the beach.” Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way you’re going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don’ t want to find out.

“I find fulfillment in charitable work.” Really means: If I am not racing, I am volunteering and I expect you to be there along side me as I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8 hours handing out sport s drink to cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol’ arm out there and hope it doesn’t get taken off.

“I enjoy sharing quiet moments together.” Really means: It ’s taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my “A ” race and can’ t workout.

“I am an active person.” Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the offseason and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so lets make the best of the 2 hours we will spend toge ther on average each day. If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also accep table, but I probably already know just as much as you.

“I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives.” Really means: You have your choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and New York, bu t don’ t expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.

“I enjoy site seeing.” Really means: Lets grab a mountain bike and get our HR’s up to 90%. There’s plenty of time to look around on the descent as trees and bushes whiz by you at 40 mph.

“I like stimulating conversation.” Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food.

“I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub.” Really Means: I’m going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.

“I’m interested in photography” Really Means: My camera is permanently perched a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect setup.

“I’m into in technology” Really Means: My HRM and bike computer are my best friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my training, don’ t bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break into the top three if I find you as entertaining on long runs and rides as my mp3 player.

Quotes from PHYS 372 Quantum Mechanics Winter Semester 2007

• Scientists are always trying to use bigger and bigger particles, eventually someone is going to try and shoot a baby
• I’m what you guys would call “Old School”
• …so we’ve become accustomed to using h-bar. I’m not sure if this is partly because we would all rather be drinking
• You just gave two solutions which are not mutually orthogonal so I can’t say yes or no
• ^A+ shouldn’t be anything mysterious
• It’s not a little pain, it’s a big pain.
• When I was in school I didn’t like it when people called the sines and cosines and logs and polynomials the “elementary functions” because I thought they were pretty tough. Now that I have studied Hermite Polynomials and Legendre polynomials I can certainly understand why they are called elementary
• Sorry, I will try to write louder
• How can something possibly be bound by something that it cannot even feel?
• You’re going to get some baby Gaussians Trailing after the big momma Gaussian
• This quantum mechanics stuff is really smart, it’s going to sit and wait to see if I’m going to flick the switch.
• Quantum mechanics is great, I hope you’re going to teach your children about it
• The beauty of Linear algebra is that you can do an example and still keep it completely abstract.
• I don’t know how to explain it you just need to treat bras differently than kets.

If you’ve visited my kitchen in the last month you’ve probably read the poem. We ran out of space last night and it was declared officially complete. For the sake of posterity I figured a copy should be kept before it was erased. Here goes…

Yesterday, Tomorrow’s sunrise came late. Thunderstorms loomed tenaciously over dreary words! Walter vivaciously scripted another dubious disaster. Following an appendectomy; agony continued mercilessly. Needlessly twenty-seven-thousand philanthropists aggravated fifty-four-thousand Shakespearian flautists. Temperatures skirted cautiously around tepid tea soaked tributaries? Monolithic watertowers raged unmercilessly. Quantum ineffectually peace Canada. ~Cheetoes~

Rick Mercer visited the University of Alberta this past week and the segments were featured on “The Rick Mercer Report” today. The main feature is the pandas volleyball team but Rick also pays a visit to the NanoFab and cooks dinner using the flame throwers in Mechanical Engineering.

If you are like me and can’t be bothered to fit your life in around a TV schedule it’s also possible to check out the segment online. I don’t know how long it will be valid for… Probably at least a week but here’s the segment anyhow. The Rick Mercer Report Visits UofA